3/26/2007

What in the Word ?


Why can't words be simple? Why must some be so difficult to understand?

Abbreviation - How come the word is so long?
Acronym - Why isn't acronym an acronym of something?
Anagram - How come there is no anagram for it?
Analogy - Wouldn't that be a good synonym for proctology?
-- Bookworms - Do they digest what they read? Do they read what they digest?
Breviate - Wouldn't it be the opposite of abbreviate ?
Definitionary - Wouldn't it be more appropriate to call a dictionary this?
Dictionary - Would anyone ever look up that word in the dictionary?
Dyslexic - Shouldn't it really be spelled 'cixelsyd?'
Lisp - Why isn't it pronounced lithp?
Monosyllabic - Shouldn't there be a shorter word for it?
Novels - Wouldn't you say most are not?
Onomatopoeia - Does it sound anything like what it means?
Opposite - What is the opposite of that?
Palindrome - Why didn't they call it a palinilap or emordrome?
Phonetic - Why isn't it spelled the way it sounds?
Phraseology - Why is phraseology only one word?
Slang - Is slang short for "sloppy language"?
Syntax - Doesn't that word sound more political than scholarly?
Thesaurus - What's another word for it ?
Umlaut - Why doesn't the word have one?

— Is there something spellbinding about dictionaries?
— What's the word for when you can't think of the word?
— Why is number abbreviated as "no" when there is no "o"?
— Who coined the phrase "coined the phrase"?
— Why do they call the thing at the end of sentence a period instead of a dot?
— Do this sentence need reverberation?
— Why is it that definitions are seldom definitive?
— How come there is no verb form of the word verb?
— Since pronoun is a noun, why isn't proverb a verb?
— Can you recite a list of nouns verbatim?
— Do verbose people ever use nouns?
— Would "buy" and "try" be good adverbs?

--Is it me or does kumquat sound dirty?
--Did you ever notice that when you say broccoli, it sounds like you're bringing up loose phlegm?
--When you pronounce yogurt, doesn't it sound like you're about to vomit?
--Tofu sounds like something you'd use Desenex on.
--Just where is that extra syllable that the British use when they try to say aluminum ? ("Al-u-min-i-um"?)
--Is a crypt where code breakers store scrambled letters?

Want to be featured in "Ripley's Believe It Or Not?" Here's one way, try to: wake up bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed, literally!

I hate it when someone translates beautiful sesquipedalian verses into a nonorchidaceous form. For example, I give you:

Perambulate, perambulate, perambulate your craft
Placidly down the liquid solution.
Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
Existence is but a delusion.
What possessed someone to turn that melodic piece into the childish ditty that follows:
Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily'
Life is but a dream.
What in the world is this word .. er, make that what in the word is this world .. aw hell, what's it all coming to?

No.12

4 comments:

Jack K. said...

A very fine place with this example of amusing uses of words. Ah that I were more learned and could attempt to match your verbiage.

Serena Joy said...

That was such fun! And it answered many of the questions I never had about the language. Bravo!

cathy said...

Darnation everywhere I go tonight is chock full of Greek words.
H was originally a "breathing" that evolved over time until it became a letter in its own right.
ph isn't f it is a soft p,try saying it and breathing out at the same time. I could explain more fully but some pholks might find it boring.
let's lower the tone instead does the word wang sound curved to you?

Hale McKay said...

Jack, methinks you can!