Vocabulary Builder VIII

Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum I smell Skunk in the Bogatorium! Yes, he's back with Vocabulary Builder -- VIII!

It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad Vocabulary, to be sure. Frankly, I don't know who's going down in flames first: Rooney/Hackett, or moi, with this latest crashiverbal exercise in literary abominationism.

So let's find out:

Abomination:
- what Iran is just begging for
- Rosie O'Donnell in spandex
- an object of disgust (see above)

Humus:
- a funny blooming idiot
- organic soil material
- spring break post-beer urinating contest

Strew:
- porridge thrown up over a large area
- sex over a large area
- stuff scattered over a large area

Bonsai:
- a dwarfed tree
- Japanese meaning "charge!"
- Japanese meaning "ship sailing divine winds into side of something"

Phallus:
- TV sitcom starring Larry Hagman as a real prick *ducking boos and throwd items*
- Redneck meaning "them fellers phallus all over th' place"
- a real dork *once again...*

Cantaloupe:
- lame antelope
- orange fleshed melon
- if you try, her daddy'll shoot you

Diplomat:
- someone the enemy wipes their feet on
- a degree in French
- a tactful person

Holster:
- a belt-worn case for a pistol
- as opposed to half the cow
- a fire-breathing pastor

Gasthaus:
- German meaning "petrol station"
- German meaning "ach tu liver, neinen brats undt kraut fer du!"
- German meaning "a small inn"

Freebooter:
- a punter in the NFL
- a generous maker of footwear
- a pirate

Judo:
- used to make matzo balls
- Ancient God of Hiyyyaaaaaaaa!
- sport of unarmed combat

Iridium:
- her relief at having dumped the loser...
- mastered a fractious horse
- a hard white element used in alloys

Secateurs:
- French meaning "pruning shears"
- French meaning "secretarial saboteur"
- French meaning "sac le teur", aka "What le Foch", one or the other, or neither

Armor:
- it's just lust...geddoverit
- then there's enough
- a vehicle with guns, wheels, tracks, and a ton of heavy metal

Phatic:
- em
- obese pest
- "how do you do?"

Entellus:
- Roman meaning "The Gladiator Network"
- Roman meaning "one smart feller"
- name of a Trojan in Virgil's Aeneid, whatever the phalanx that was...

Pekingese:
- a leg man does
- a lapdog
- A Chinese call girl

Caparison:
- one cleans his room, the other is setting fire to his sister's Barbie
- contrast
- a horse's trappings

Aerate:
- supply an elevator with fresh air after a fart
- cost of oxygen per square inch
- carnivorous air in a sci-fi story

Scepter:
- Redneck meaning "ya like her"
- Redneck meaning "a revenooer's chase vehickle"
- royal or imperial symbol of authority

Schizocarp:
- a fish with issues
- dry fruits that split into single-seeded parts when ripe
- a bitching schizoid

Schlep:
- will if stepping into something schleppery *more ducking of boos and throwd items*
- Curly's replacement on the Three Stooges
- awkward or slow person

Entrails:
- lost in a journey of the mind, at least for some with anatomical cranial misplacement syndrome
- song Gene Autry closed his show with
- bowels

Iconoclasm:
- icon have and have nots being set against each other
- computer screen symbols during mating season
- the breaking of images

Kittiwake:
- sea cliff-dwelling bird
- the crap your cat scatters on a romp
- water trail of a catamaran

Fieri facius:
- Latin meaning "you're ugly and your mom dresses funny"
- Latin meaning "cause to be made or done"
- Latin meaning "your face is on fire"

Pheasant:
- a poor person
- have yourself that kind of day
- a fowl that, when crossed with a duck, isn't polite to say

Will there be a Vocabulary IX or Nein? Cast your votes at Verbicidal Tendencies, and hope that if you vote yes, it won't count due to having Florida or Ohio do the tally...