Vocablary Builder V- Pre-April Fools Edition

The Hero of the Hyperbole,
the Sultan of the Synonym,
the Oracle of Onomatopoeia,
the Viceroy of the Verb.
He's back! That fine-feathered Skunk, aka Skunkfeathers, has let his fingers go walking through the dictionary again. Is no dictionary safe?

This time, the jokes on him, for his Pre-April's Fool Edition is actually being posted on April Fools Day!


Ah, the rapidly-approaching April First. The sound of remote-controlled fart machines in the air. Saran Wrap on toilets. Whatever other deviltry can be conceived of.

As for me, I just thought I'd put together another one of them so-called vocabulary builders, to further enhance reader lexicology.

That's, I say, that's an April Fools' joke there, son.


Classmate:
- sex education gone way too far
- coffee creamer for the well-to-do
- fellow class member

Copulate:
- lexicological edification of syntax, cruciverbally-speaking
- see previous word, first choice
- criticism of police for arriving after the crime

Depressor:
- instructor who really bums out students
- a nerve that lowers blood pressure
- when she says "not on your life!" at the end of a date

Dildo:
- what pickle bread is made from
- why she says "not on your life!" in previous choice; she gots one and don't need you...
- an extinct bird

Furl:
- to fold up
- to puke a hairball
- Earl's half-wit brother

Haiku:
- Japanese meaning "pound sand-san"
- Japanese meaning "yeah, what Miss Piggy said when she thumped someone"
- Japanese meaning "three line poem of 17 syllables, like....
I think I pass gas
Everybody runs away
it must really stink

Kumquat:
- town in Iraq
- an orange-like fruit
- a well-stimulated quat will, I'm sure...

Misanthrope:
- doesn't have a neck
- person who hates people
- debutante with a 'tude

News flash:
- teleprompter catches fire
- Katy Couric's latest try to boost ratings on the CBS Nightly Nudes...
- single item of important news...to someone...maybe...

Oblique:
- a single guy's chances with a Catholic nun
- declining from the horizontal or vertical
- economic forecast in Ireland

Phantasm:
- something illusionary
- spirit sex
- elephant orgasm

Rebut:
- refute or disprove
- replacement, since the original one didn't fit in them jeans...
- frog meaning...whatever it means to a frog

Satin:
- Redneck meaning "sumpin ah dun satin..."
- a fabric
- Redneck meaning "that Loocifur feller the Rev rags about"

Tetanus:
- Sick video game
- bacterial disease
- Far East New Year celebration of someone's butt

Unitard:
- one piece leotard
- a tard that's good anywhere
- Redneck meaning "we's all tard hyar..."

Wampum:
- to kick the snarf out of
- Indian casino motto
- beads made from shells and strung together

Yahweh:
- Hebrew name for God in the Old Testament
- giving directions...badly
- response when someone says "no way"

Verb sap:
- Latin meaning "sticky substance that oozes from a verb in season"
- Latin meaning "one word's enough"
- Latin meaning "used to beat unruly syntax into line"

Xylocarp:
- hard, woody fruit
- a musical fish
- a foreigner complaining about a hard woody

Zoonosis:
- disease seen in zoo monkeys that causes them to throw their sh..dung
- German meaning "ja, du know mine zister?"
- disease transmitted to humans from animals

Recall:
- something Hillary rarely can
- summon to return
- ruin everything

Pylon:
- one of them robot things in Battlestar Galactica
- structure supporting an aircraft engine
- what the media frequently does without getting facts straight

Difficult:
- hard to do
- what South Park does to Scientology at every opportunity
- a culture of diffidence

Cruet:
- to enforce conscription for a sailing ship
- small container for oil or vinegar
- "screw it" said with a speech impediment

Crowbar:
- place to get raven drunk (ducking boos and throwd items)
- iron bar used as a lever
- aviary musical scale

Defer:
- Redneck meaning "defer taint worth nuthin' hyar"
- postpone
- not to a mink's liking

Claustrophobia:
- a fear of contracts
- a fear of Christmas shopping
- a fear of confining places

Granted, it IS almost April 1st, so I probably didn't mean some of this, did I?