3/11/2008

Vocabulary Building III -- Politickally Carwrecked

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Vocabulary Building III -- Politickally Carwrecked


Once again Serena and I are pleased to relinquish control of this site to Skunkfeathers. He has become the first guest contributor to these pages to have three consecutive posts featured here at Verbicidal Tendencies. ( Not coincidentally, he was also the first guest to appear in two consecutive posts. )
....Won't you sit back and prepare to guffaw, snicker or giggle at the genius of this record setter?

The last of three in the series. Yeah, I heard those sighs of relief.

At any rate, what had been a series of seven vocabulary builders for the paper back about 12 years or so ago, I condensed into three, so you're getting more than twice the verbiage value as heretofore. Or heretofive, six, or whatever your favored number. And just for fun, I've included a few more foreign words, just so I could have more creative liberty and irritate the snarf ouf the politically correct in the readership.

So wid no foitha adieu:

Contemporary:
- living or occurring at the same time
- a cantankerous, dissident rary
- a fill-in criminal for one whose on vacation, death row, temporary break-out, etc

Variable:
- flexible BS
- quite capable
- not constant

Berate:
- they would have, but for Goldilocks
- how 70% of Califorlornia public education high school students spelled 'Beirut' on their last geology exam, which was another problem but I digress
- to scold or rebuke

Collapse:
- more than one person forgot about it
- what 'Inevitable Hillary' and her campaign might be on the verge of
- fall down (go 'boom' is optional)

Derriere:
- milk cow flatulence
- brand of refrigerators that flopped in Quebec
- some sit on it; others try to think widdit

Flamboyant:
- showy
- a floatation device that keeps you warm 'til it burns up, then you sink
- gourmet meal made from insects

Pompous:
- a graduated circumstance...*ducking throwd items*
- skill required in cheerleading, especially in Texas where they take this stuff serious
- self-important

Nom de plume:
- French meaning "not that plume, le fool!"
- French meaning "his flatulence leaves a trail, no?"
- French meaning "pen name"

Non compos mentis:
- Latin meaning "not compost material"
- Latin meaning "not tonight, I have gas"
- Latin meaning "not of sound mind"

Bien entendu:
- French meaning "of course"
- French meaning "yes, I have been intending to get around to that eventually"
- French meaning "yes, I have no bananas"

Lagoon:
- a French thug
- a designer gown made in Paris
- a great place to find Mary Ann when she was able to ditch Gilligan

Migraine:
- a wheat farmer suffering post partem from the harvest
- debris from a shot-down MIG
- recurrent severe headache

Aequo animo:
- Latin meaning "with even mind"
- Latin meaning "sea horse"
- Latin meaning "I no see horse; what drugs you on?"

H'yar:
- Redneckspeak meaning "to hire"
- Redneckspeak meaning "looky, git yore backside ovah h'yar afore ah opens a can o' whupass on y'all.."
- Redneckspeak ta make the horse git'em up

Insider:
- someone averse to the outdoors
- a nice place to be when she consents
- being privy to a secret

Languor:
- Maine
- a lack of energy
- liquor with no umph

Homage:
- acknowledgement of respect
- grits in a collective sense
- a union of prostitutes

Politically correct:
- collision of two limos in a motorcade
- writing or saying things that offend no one, save for those offended by totally boring writings and sayings
- knowing your candidates are all full of sh**

Spectacle:
- what the optomotrist made of himself when he fell into the lens grinding machine
- miniscule fishing gear
- an attention-getting public display

Paralyze:
- psychoanalysis of a paratrooper
- to render powerless
- "no honey, your butt's not getting fat" and "I was working late at the office"

Halibut:
- one of Halle's best features
- for the
- salt water flat fish

Quark:
- of fate
- enunciation of a Bostonian mallard
- elementary particles believed to, in pairs, make up a hadron

Duct:
- to avoid doing something
- pipe or channel that conveys a substance
- getting pranked by a water fowl

Scramble:
- to shoo away a rogue bovine
- to mix up
- to pursue a thread of logic that's tied in knots

Pizzazz:
- the first failed effort in creating a pizza
- having the quality of being excited or attractive
- sound generated by peeing on an electric fence, followed by other sounds

Gingersnap:
- sick of hearing about how "wholesome" Mary Ann is from Gilligan, I guess, and...
- a subtle dig at someone
- thin, brittle ginger cookie

Cornudopia:
- a recepticle shaped like a bong
- an abundance of idiots
- a made-up word that really should be officially recognized

Bling-bling:
- sound of ricochets from a drive-by shooting
- expensive, gaudy jewelry favored by rap artists
- from the Godfather: "Youse disrepect me heah an' badda boom badda bling bling, fuhggedaboudit!"

Impeccable:
- tasteful
- stainless steel pellets substituted as bird seed
- a tree soliciting for a woodpecker

Innuendo:
- a really sick kind of bread dough
- an Italian suppository
- a disparaging remark

Idiomatic:
- a person's idiot mode operates without prompting
- characteristic of a particular language
- a badly-designed handgun

Now go forth and cruciverbalize with confidence that you'll turn heads and get lots of "WTF?"s from family, friends and colleagues. Or in my case, just laughed at.

3 comments:

Hale McKay said...

Skunk,

You've outdone yourself!

I had so many favorites from this set that I had to settle on:

hallibut, impeccable, cornudopia and insider.

Skunkfeathers said...

I may have to pull Vocab IV if that's the case; how can I outdo myself, low-achiever that I is?

;)

Serena Joy said...

I am now a hardcore woid junkie. I can't get enough of this stuff.:D