The Religion of Baseball


Calvinists believe the game is fixed.

Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.

Quakers won't swing.

Unitarians can catch anything.

Amish walk a lot.

Pagans sacrifice.

Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often.

Scientologists play injured.

Televangelists get caught stealing.

Episcopalians pass the plate.

Methodists want to rewrite the rules.

Evangelicals make effective pitches.

Fundamentalists balk.

Hindus refuse to kill the umpire, lest he's a relative.

Mormons are in left field.

Dunkers are down by three.

Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.

Atheists refuse to have an Umpire.

Baptists want to play hardball.

Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account of darkness.

The Pope claims never to have committed an error.



Skunkfeathers said...

then there's me, who -- generally bored with the game -- plays spin the bottle in the stands ;)

Hale McKay said...


Can I assume that this occurs after you have actually emptied the bottle?

Serena Joy said...

I've never really understood baseball before. Now I do!:-)

Hale McKay said...


It's just another service we provide at VT - to educate the masses.