Land Urchins

This is purportedly one of those true stories. A group of primary school students were doing a joint project on "The Sea." The kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their own experiences. Some of the teachers later got together to compare the results and chose these as their "favorites."

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls! (James, age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are in continent. (Wayne, age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie, age 6)

6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

7. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

8. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

9. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen, age 6)

10. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)