Random Thoughts Made Of Words Floating About in the Ether

Points to ponder while passing the time

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated.. instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What sort of disease did the cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you in a movie, but you're on TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you butt naked anyway.

Why do we plug things into outlets?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid, dippy song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a small hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? Aren't they both dogs?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why on earth did you just try singing or humming the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride he sticks his head out the window?


Think you have a handle on the meaning of the word "service?" Service is defined as the act of doing things for other people.

Then you hear these terms which reference the word service:

Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City & County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations

But then, looking at that list, don't you become confused about what the word "service" must actually mean? Those examples perhaps do not epitomize what we thought "service" meant.

And then, one day you overhear two farmers talking, and one of them says he has hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows. BAM! It all comes into perspective. Now we begin to understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us. Do you feel enlightened now?