News From the Year 2029

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Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

English is recognized as a third language in Mexifornia.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a man (or woman) with his (or her) mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.


Hale McKay said...

Ironic isn't it, that a lot of those probably will come to fruition!

LOL! @ "Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Excellent crystal ball work there, SJ!

Hale McKay said...

Curious, the comments aren't showing up on the post counter.

Hale McKay said...

Must be a Blogger malfunction....

In case other people are having the problems:

1) that comments aren't appearing on post at the site

2) that posts aren't appearing on site

I reset the post as a draft and then re-published and -voila! - it showed up.

I did the same thing with the comments here - I reset SJ's post as a draft and then hit publish - the post then showed the comments.

An accidental fix? Or coincidence that Blogger fixed problem at same time?

Well my two "fixes," with a post of my own, and the comments here, each took place about 20 minutes apart.

Hope this helps.

Serena Joy said...

I think it must be a Blogger malfunction, Mike, since we haven't had this problem before.

Glad you enjoyed the "News," by the way.:)