Thinking Sometimes Hurts

They all call me Pappy Profound 'coz I always got somethin' deep to say.

Folks would then say to me, "That sure is a deep subject for a shallow mind."

I'm a waitin' !

Well sometimes I get to thinkin' about things till I gets a headache.

Down yonder is some of the things I been a ponderin'...

So's why don't you put on yer thinkin' caps and answer me some these things? HHhhmmmmmm??


What is the speed of dark?

When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Where are Preparations A through G?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

What happened to Jack Daniels' other 6?

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

Why do we think about these kinds of things?

As you can see, I'm still a waitin'. Come on, y'alls posed to be smart. Well, I'll be back with some more of these. You best be studyin' up some, don't you think?

No.44