7/27/2007

Cubicle Catchisms

Useful Work Phrases

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.


I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.


No.50

5 comments:

r.e.wolf said...

Either these are universal, or you have wire-tapped my inner monologue.

Serena Joy said...

LOL! I'm pretty sure I've actually said some of those. And some of them I'm stealing so I CAN say them.:-)

Hale McKay said...

Wolf - I think just about everyone is on the same wave-lenghth. Some think these things and others "say" them.

Hale McKay said...

Serena, I do believe I've said a few of them and I know I've thought a lot of them.

Steal away - consider it a public service.

Serena Joy said...

LOL. I know exactly who I'm going to practice a few of those on.:)