Perks Of Being Over 50


If you are not over 50, this is what you have to look forward to.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them, either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.


Hale McKay said...

19. You buy shoes with velcro straps instead of laces.

20. You can put your bra on backwards and no one will notice.

21. You can remember the names of the Brooklyn Dodgers infield, but cannot remember where you put your teeth.

22. Your grandchildren open your child-proof prescription bottles for you.

Hale McKay said...

A post as full of truisms as any I've read in a while.

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Mike. Your additions to the list rock.:-)