The Return of Lexicon Leghorn

That hip rooster, Lexicon Leghorn, has returned with some more of his "Fractured Etymology." Never one to wait for sunrise to crow, he has opened his dictionary again to offer up some of his favorite words.

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle.

ASPHALT: A condition found in overweight people which is characterized by a large butt.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DECOMPOSE: To erase or delete something you spent hours writing.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

YOGURT: One way to greet Gertrude.

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

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