*****Zodiac Drivers*****

(The following appeared in a 2006 issue of Readers Digest.)

Where are you? Insurance Hotline analyzed accidents and traffic tickets of 100,000 drivers by astrological sign. From the top down, the worst to best:

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
~~~~Traits: Indecisive; craves consensus; flirtatious
Car Karma: Lacks ability to make the snap decisions necessary to avoid a crash.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
~~~~Traits: Stubborn; rebellious; unconventional
Car Karma: Ignores the rules of the road, especially the speed limits.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
~~~~Traits: Risk-taker; impulsive; childlike
Car Karma: Wants to race you off the line when the light turns green.

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
~~~~Traits: Daydreamer; theatrical; vulnerable
Car Karma: Doesn't pay attention; prone to road rage and fishtailing.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
~~~~Traits: Generous; egotistical; optimistic
Car Karma: Strives to be a "star" driver and be respected for it.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
~~~~Traits: Cautious; deliberate; stubborn
Car Karma: Has an urge to charge at red lights; fails to yield.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
~~~~Traits: Talkative; independent; traveler
Car Karma: Argues with police; extreme driving; talking on cell phone at the wheel.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
~~~~Traits: Goal-oriented; designing; traditional
Car Karma: So focused on the destination they ignore speed limits and traffic signs along the way.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
~~~~Traits: Analytical; skeptical; timid
Car Karma: Focuses on minor details (the squirrel) - instead of the big picture (the speed trap)

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
~~~~Traits: Moody; nurturing; family-oriented
Car Karma: Considers other drivers an "extended family"; maneuvers car quickly.

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)
~~~~Traits: Alert; adaptable; curious
Car Karma: Need for mental stimulation helps them spot changing traffic patterns.

Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
~~~~Traits: Generous; egotistical; optimistic
Car Karma: Strives to be a "star" driver and be respected for it.

See Rat Fink up there? That's me, and I'm an Aquarius. Unconventional?

....So what kind of Zodiac Driver are you?



Anonymous said...

Oh dear, I'm a Libra. That makes the worst of drivers. Who knew?

Hale McKay said...

I'm not far behind you, Anon. I'm an Aquarius.

Serena Joy said...

Well, I guess my Gemini analysis is pretty accurate. LOL.