8/22/2007

*****Zodiac Drivers*****

(The following appeared in a 2006 issue of Readers Digest.)

Where are you? Insurance Hotline analyzed accidents and traffic tickets of 100,000 drivers by astrological sign. From the top down, the worst to best:

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
~~~~Traits: Indecisive; craves consensus; flirtatious
Car Karma: Lacks ability to make the snap decisions necessary to avoid a crash.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
~~~~Traits: Stubborn; rebellious; unconventional
Car Karma: Ignores the rules of the road, especially the speed limits.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
~~~~Traits: Risk-taker; impulsive; childlike
Car Karma: Wants to race you off the line when the light turns green.

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
~~~~Traits: Daydreamer; theatrical; vulnerable
Car Karma: Doesn't pay attention; prone to road rage and fishtailing.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
~~~~Traits: Generous; egotistical; optimistic
Car Karma: Strives to be a "star" driver and be respected for it.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
~~~~Traits: Cautious; deliberate; stubborn
Car Karma: Has an urge to charge at red lights; fails to yield.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
~~~~Traits: Talkative; independent; traveler
Car Karma: Argues with police; extreme driving; talking on cell phone at the wheel.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
~~~~Traits: Goal-oriented; designing; traditional
Car Karma: So focused on the destination they ignore speed limits and traffic signs along the way.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
~~~~Traits: Analytical; skeptical; timid
Car Karma: Focuses on minor details (the squirrel) - instead of the big picture (the speed trap)

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
~~~~Traits: Moody; nurturing; family-oriented
Car Karma: Considers other drivers an "extended family"; maneuvers car quickly.

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)
~~~~Traits: Alert; adaptable; curious
Car Karma: Need for mental stimulation helps them spot changing traffic patterns.

Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
~~~~Traits: Generous; egotistical; optimistic
Car Karma: Strives to be a "star" driver and be respected for it.

See Rat Fink up there? That's me, and I'm an Aquarius. Unconventional?

....So what kind of Zodiac Driver are you?

No.59

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, I'm a Libra. That makes the worst of drivers. Who knew?

Hale McKay said...

I'm not far behind you, Anon. I'm an Aquarius.

Serena Joy said...

Well, I guess my Gemini analysis is pretty accurate. LOL.