9/25/2007

A Pauper's Grave


OBITUARY

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

On the day of viewing not many came to see him and pay their respects. No one was there as he was laid to rest in a pauper's grave. Near his plot are several unmarked graves. It is said that Justice, Integrity and Fidelity rest in them.

I for one will bow my head in reverence and respect. He will be missed.

(For a good example of why Common Sense will be missed dearly check out this post on the hazards of FLIP PHONES. )

No.70

2 comments:

Serena Joy said...

A most timely post! RIP common sense, indeed.

Muneer said...

Perhaps we need more common sense by not using coffee cups blindly since paper coffee cups can lead to bladder and kidney failure when people ingest toxic amounts of the adhesive on the seam of the cup, which dissolves when a hot liquid is poured inside. This adhesive contains melamine, a dangerous chemical primarily used to make plastic and fertilizer.

As you may know, melamine recently made media headlines when it poisoned nearly 1,000 domestic animals in the United States. The chemical was discovered in several pet foods imported from China and caused pain to families and pets across the country.

This type of chemical poisoning has been on some consumers' minds for years; in fact, there was even an episode of Seinfeld in which George's fiancee died of glue poisoning after licking one too many wedding invitations! However, the growing concern has not registered with coffee cup manufacturers, who continue to produce products that may harm the public.

Obviously, it is up to each individual to protect themselves and their family from melamine poisoning. Please consider bringing your own cup or thermos to your local coffee shop, and warn everyone you know about the dangers of paper coffee cups.