Life After Retirement

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: Why do retirees watch so many reruns on TV?
Answer: Because they don't remember the original airing.



Bilbo said...

The one about falling asleep in the recliner speaks directly to me, and I'm not even retired yet!

Serena Joy said...

I think I'm in a heap of trouble. I do some of that stuff in a completely unretired state.:)

Hale McKay said...


Falling asleep in the recliner is a skill set of being retired that I too have already mastered.

Hale McKay said...


You and me both - as well as many of the readers here and at our respective other sites.

Colby Moore said...
This comment has been removed by the author.