7/02/2008

Skunkfeather's State Mottos


This offering from Skunkfeathers is his "voision" of this post by Serena.

The Inevitability of Change (August 2002)

..in everything but credit cards, but I digress.

The annual World Almanac is a wonderful tool. It has information on a plethora of things, many that one might never even imagine a use for, with others that can have timely applications in the most unusual of circumstances. And I excel at finding the unusual, especially when I'm bored or have writers' block.

As the column lead suggests, change is inevitable in about everything in our lives. Few will argue it. Change is as timeless as time itself. Change cannot be denied, if only hidden by botox injections and hair coloring, if you've any left to color. Change simply is.

I got to looking through the World Almanac for a seed (or germ) of an idea for this week, and it hit me like a change-up pitch, high and too tight: I found the biographical write-ups of the fifty states that make up this great nation. In so doing, I noted that each had a motto: a motto that was probably adopted when the state became such. In the case of Colorado, we're talking about 125 years ago. For places like Alaska, that makes their motto only 53 years old. For Delaware ..
wow.

However, if one takes into account 'the inevitability of change', then it's time to review our state mottos. Time to refresh, to revise them, to change them. Thus, I did. Oh, I retained the essence of each, especially those with a Latin origin. I've simply enhanced or modernized them, so to speak.

What's more, I've sent along my recommended changes to each state. I think that once they've taken a moment to reflect upon the thought and effort I've put forth on this project, they'll readily and collectively agree to action. Like posting a bounty on me:

Alabama: 'We dare defend our rights to grits'
Alaska: 'North to the future. South to thaw. Anwar to drill.'
Arizona: 'Ditet Deus (God Endows John McCain with water and tarantula dung)'
Arkansas: 'Regnat Populus (Shore got lotsa gnats 'round that Clinton lie-braree)'
California: 'Eureka (I have found it: a condo in Aspen, CO)'
Colorado: 'Californians Suck'
Connecticut: 'Qui Transtulit Sustinet (Darned if I know, it's Latin)'
Delaware: 'Liberty, independence and telemarketers, oh my'
Florida: 'In God We Trust, From Georgia We Seek Ballot Consultants'
Georgia: 'Wisdom, justice and second graders to hep them thar Florida voters'
Hawaii: 'The life of the land is perpetuated or deep fat fried in righteous volcanic eruptions'
Idaho: 'Esto Perpetua (It's spelled Potato, you boob)'
Illinois: 'State Sovereignty - National Union. No Scabs or Working Brains Allowed'
Indiana: 'Crossroads of America: Great Accidents Hourly'
Iowa: 'Our liberties we prize, and our rights we will maintain to protect our sheep from Wyoming'
Kansas: 'Ad Astra per Aspera (to the stars through difficulties, 'cuz it's flatter than Hell here'
Kentucky: 'United We Stand, Divided We Win, Place or Show'
Louisiana: 'Union, justice and confidence in bribing (almost) anyone'
Maine: 'Dirigo (again)'
Maryland: 'Fatti Maschii, Parole Femine (Manly deeds, womanly words, N.O.W.
Files EEOC suit, file at 11, yada yada..)'
Massachusetts: 'Ense Petit Placidam Sub Libertate Quietem (By the sword we seek peace, but only if free from having to learn more Latin)'
Michigan: 'Si Quaeris Peninsulam Amoenam, Circumspice (We made ours shorter than Massachusetts)'
Minnesota: 'L'Etoile du Nord (10,000 Lakes, 10 Feet of Snow and 10 Billion Mosquitoes)'
Mississippi: 'Virtute et Armis (It's not too late to join Lee's march on Gettysb .. oops .. never mind)'
Missouri: 'Salus Populi Suprema Lex Esto (the welfare of the people shall not include rules on election night)'
Montana: 'Oro y Plata (Gold and Silver helps build strong Militias)'
Nebraska: 'Equality -- and the Cornhusker football team -- before the law'
Nevada: 'For all our country -- double or nothing'
New Hampshire: 'Live Free or Move to crumbling DC'
New Jersey: 'Liberty and prosperity and Ellis Island belongs to us, NY'
New Mexico: 'Crescit Eundo (Roadrunner...the coyote's after you..)'
New York: 'Excelsior (Badda bing badda boom, Ellis Island is ours, NJ)'
North Carolina: 'Esse Quam Videri (to be or not to be, it is up to the hurricanes)'
North Dakota: 'Liberty and union, now and forever buried in snowdrifts'
Ohio: 'With God, all things are possible until the legislature convenes'
Oklahoma: 'Labor Omnia Vincit (Labor conquers all things, 'cept death, taxes and crooked lawyers)'
Oregon: 'She flies with her own wings, but charges with his Visa'
Pennsylvania: 'Virtue, Liberty and Three Mile Island: two outta three ain't bad'
Rhode Island: 'Hope we're not annexed by Massachusetts'
South Carolina: 'Dum Spiro Spero (Strom Thurmond hugged Hillary Clinton? Ewwww...
...poor Strom)'
South Dakota: 'Under God, the people rule. Under Daschle, God's out, the DNC rules'
Tennessee: 'Honest, we thought we knew the real version of Al Gore'
Texas: 'Aw, shucks..let's execute us anuther 'un'
Utah: 'Industry -- anything but the Osmonds'
Vermont: 'Freedom and claustrophobia'
Virginia: 'Sic Semper Tyrannis (We're glad the T-Rex ate Los Angeles!)'
Washington: 'Alki (Microsoft IE Required in all things)
West Virginia: 'Montani Semper Liberi (Everything's named for Robert Byrd)'
Wisconsin: 'Cheeseheads? I've got your Cheeseheads!'
Wyoming: 'Equal Rights to Iowan Sheep'
District of Columbia: 'Justitia omnibus (Marion *snort* Barry was framed *snort*!)'

3 comments:

Serena Joy said...

I like Skunk's mottoes MUCH BETTER!:-)

Hale McKay said...

LOL, Skunk -

at the Robert Byrd reference for West Virginia (my home state).

I can still see that pathetic little man at the podium weeping for Ted Kennedy when the later was diagnosed with brain cancer. Makes me wonder if it is contagious.

Skunkfeathers said...

Ahhhh, shucks...'tweren't nuthin'. After three concussions, stuff like this is kinda sorta easy, kinda. A little...