10/10/2008

Sex and Calories

The following is from the archives of It Occurred To Me and was posted on 4/11/08.


CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX! *


REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent
12 Calories

Without her consent
2,187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands
8 Calories

With one hand
12 Calories

With your teeth
485 Calories


PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection
6 Calories

Without an erection
3,315 Calories


POSITIONS:

Missionary
12 Calories

69 lying down
78 Calories

69 standing up
812 Calories

Wheelbarrow
216 Calories

Doggy Style
326 Calories

Italian chandelier
2,912 Calories


ORGASMS:

Real
112 Calories

Fake
1,315 Calories


POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging
18 Calories

Getting up immediately
36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately
816 Calories


GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years -36 Calories

30-39 years -80 Calories

40-49 years -124 Calories

50-59 years -1,972 Calories

60-69 years -7,916 Calories

70 and over -Results are still pending


DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly..
32 Calories

In a hurry
98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door
5,218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door
13,521 Calories

Results may vary!


THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD

Right now, as you read this,

69 Million Americans are having SEX!

And you're on the computer!!!

No.200

1 comment:

Jack K. said...

Thanks for the not so subtle reminder at the end of the posting.

But, how do you know there are 69 million folks having sex? Confess, you made up the number because 69 is your favorite number. snerx!

btw, who is this john dude hawking viagra? He dropped by my site and posted the same comment. He even got by the word verification.