Twisted Linguistics

From trawling the Web in search of bloopers, these are some of my favorite recent Words Gone Wild.

Habitant - Things that obsessive-compulsive ants do over and over again.

negoations - Working to get the best deals for goats.

overdramitize - A melodramatic two-drams-over-the-line overdose.

knelt at the alter - Sybil on her knees.

publsiher - A printing company which would be a perfect match for illiterate authors.

reguard - A bodyguard who flubs up his assignment and has to do it again.

witch there was no reason - No one saw the invisible crone or knows why the beguilement occurred.

sits in your crawl - Sitting still and crawling at the same time does tend to jerk a knot in your craw.

You haven't even wrote a book - I know! I wanna be like YOU and written books when I grow up.

straigtht - How the center line looks to a lisper.

pendulom - Literally, "the pen is dull."

people of Hispanic decent - The people of Spain are good.

bonified answers - Answers you are sure of down deep in your bones.

stragidy - It's a tragedy that the strategy didn't work.

accpets - What someone allergic to animals says when he walks into a house where there are animals.

people with bog names - Swamp trolls.

oppertunity - He blew his chance and it's in the 'opper now.

I have been whinging - Stop that before you go blind!

quanity versus quality - Things quantified in huge, neatly charted increments.

pablam - A word uttered much in the same vein as "Bam!" or "Kaboom!"

ajitated - Over-stimulated by the use of Ajax.

look at this from a different angel - Good girls gone bad.

quit pedaling this garbage - Instructions to someone with a crappy bike.

courious - The curious courtier.

somewhow - Whoa, that was some kinda hot!

cowardess - Well. This is a new one on me. I can think of two possible definitions. (1) A female coward; (2) A female prison co-administrator.

psycihatric drugs - I'd like to recommend psychedelic drugs for this person. They're much more fun.

innaccuate - Baba Wawa telling somebody they're wrong.

explaination - The purpose of speeches to the country out of Washington.

estatic - When your keyboard shocks you every time you read e-mail.

religated - Alligators that get religion.

experinced - Title of the first draft of a song written by Jimi Hendrix really late one night.

comngrad you - Do NOT let anyone do this to you. It's nasty.

couped up - The guys are all in the garage with their little deuce coupes.