The Original Computer

Back in the old days, B.C. (Before Computers),

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
The net was under the tightrope walker
A crash was two vehicles colliding
A laptop was where children sat
Wireless was ham radio
Ports were places where ships docked
A tower was a building
Chips were made from potatoes
A motherboard was an apathetic mommy
Spam came in a can
Message boards were found in grocery stores and laundramats
A site was somewhere you drove to
Bytes were a good reason to visit the doctor
Connections were made by operators at switchboards
A monitor was the kid in school who always told on you

And if you had a 3 inch floppy...

...you just hoped nobody ever found out!