3/08/2007

Wet Dream


Do you suppose if someone were to google "wet dream" and found this post that it would be just what they were looking for?

Pun - a play on words

( I heard this novelty song years ago. In fact, I had almost forgotten it altogether. I was checking out some lyrics when I found the words to "Wet Dream." I think it is pretty good with some clever funny, finny puns. The song was recorded by Kip Addotta.)

If you ever want the lyrics to novelty songs check out: Demented Lyrics

Wet Dream

It was April the Forty-first, being a quadruple leapyear;
I was driving in downtown Atlantis.
My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray,
and it was overheating.
So I pulled into a Shell station; they said I'd blown a seal.
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay, pal?"
While they were doing that, I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar.
A real dive.
But I knew the owner; he used to play for the dolphins.
I said, "HI GILL!" (You have to yell, he's hard of herring.)

~Chorus~

Think I had a wet dream,
cruisin' through the Gulf stream.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Wet dream.~

Gill was also down on his luck.
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water.
I bellied up to the sandbar; he poured the usual:
Rusty Snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred.
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the mako.
I slipped him a fin, on porpoise. I was feeling good;
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids, for the halibut.
Well, the place was crowded. We were packed in like sardines.
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal.
What sole.Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna,
" Salmonchanted Evening",
and the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers,
Probably there to see the bass player.
One of them was this cute little yellowtail,
and she was givin' me the eye.
So I figured this was my chance for a little fun. You know, piece of Pisces.
But she said things I just couldn't fathom.
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure.
Boy, could she drink. She drank like a...She drank a lot.
I said,"What's your sign? "
She said, "Aquarium." I said, " Great! Let's get tanked!"

~Chorus~

I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait.
I said, "C'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows."
She threw me that same old line:
"Not tonight, I got a haddock."
And she wasn't kidding, either,cause in came the biggest,
meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike.
He was covered with mussels.
He came over to me; he said,"Listen, Shrimp.
Don't you come trollin' around here."
What a crab. This guy was steamed.I could see the anchor in his eyes.
I turned to him and I said, "Abalone! You're just being shellfish."
Well, I knew there was going to be trouble,
and so did Gill, cause he was already on the phone to the cods.
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch.
I catch him with a left hook.He eels over.It was a fluke,
but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel,kelpless.
I said, "Forget the cods, Gill. This guy's going to need a sturgeon.
"Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend.
She came over to me; she said,
"Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish.What's your name?"
I said, "Marlin."

~Chorus~

Well, from then on we had a whale of a time.
I took her to dinner; I took her to dance;
I bought her a bouquet of flounders.
And then I went home with her.
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams.

~( Well, I liked it! )~ I wish I could take credit for those lyrics!

No.5

8 comments:

lime said...

20 yrs ago WMMR out of philadelphia used to play this song almost daily on its morning show. i loved it then and still do. they interviewed kip odata and he said it took him something like 3 yrs to write and fine tune it. hehehee

Hale McKay said...

Lime,

Fine tuna he did it too!

Wow! 20 years ago! It sure don't seem that long ago when I heard it.

Serena Joy said...

If I've ever heard that before, I don't remember it. And I'm pretty sure I would have remembered, as funny as it is. I'm going to have to find somewhere to listen to it.:)

Steve G said...

It's a new one for me. I like it. A new blog Verbicidal Tendencies. I need to bookmark this.

Hale McKay said...

Thank you, Steve. Spread the word.

Serena Joy said...

I'm glad you like it, Steve. And if you ever want to guest-write a post, just send it along.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

"Frankly, scallop, I don't give a clam" is one of the funniest lines I've ever heard to this day. I still sing that song occasionally!

Hale McKay said...

I think so too, Greeny. I'm surprised so many not only have heard that song but remember it too.