4/19/2007

Wordz (From a Dry Spell)

A story from a Novell NetWare System Op:

CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken - and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
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NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT: Ant extract that treats mom's depression and fatigue by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

EMPTYNESTROGEN: Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

PEPTOBIMBO: Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... Can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENTA: Spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT: When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

7 comments:

syntropy said...

from pain in the neck
to a badly wet seat~
jackassperin



HAIKU YOU!

Serena Joy said...

Thanks for that! {{{clapping}}}

I adore haiku and have bookmarked your site.

Hale McKay said...

I had heard the Cup Holder one before.

_ But that "medicine list" is a new on me!

Hilarious stuff!

Exceedrin - Eases the pains from having too much sex. (Least used medicine in most mens' med cabinets.)

Mufferin - Similar to Exceedrin, but mad for a woman.

Backatracin - Applied to mysterious scratches on the backs of men.

Hale McKay said...

Syntropy - Very good.

If Serena is bookmarking you, then I will check out your site too.

Serena Joy said...

I thought the meds were pretty funny, too, and yours make a nice addition to the medicine cabinet.

syntropy said...

robins flury
beak and claws
attack my window



good morning!!!

Serena Joy said...

Morning, Syntropy,
Look for little robins' beaks
Bearing witty words.