8/06/2007

Dikshunary of Trailer Trash & Redneck Speech


I's done went out and found more stuff 'bout trailer parks and the people what lives in 'em than you could possibly ever want to know. I always been a-sayin' that one can't get enuff edukayshun!

But first you need to know the dialect a bit to help you un'erstand a bit better. So I pulled out a few entries from "Bubba's Dikshunary of Trailer Trash and Redneck Speech." (These are my original entries and were not lifted.)

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Air Conditioner - Innovative device using 10 lb bag of ice positioned behind oscillating fan
Alpha-Bits - Game pieces for Scrabble that can also be eaten
Art Exhibition - Showing off a new tattoo
Asset - What you do in your chair
Baker's dozen - A loaf and bread and two six-packs of Pabst
Bath Tub - Place to store motorcycle parts
Cherry Bomb - Best fishing bait
City Dump - Bargain outlet
City Hall - Biggest trailer for miles around
Corn Cob - Substitute for toilet paper
Cuisine - There is no Redneck or Trailer Park translation
Curtains - Material hung in windows when not used as bed linens
Desperate Houswives - Female neighbors
Duct Tape - Contents of a toolbox
Entertainment Center - Versatile shelving system comprised of pine boards and cinder blocks
Exercise Bike - Optional use for coat rack
Fall-a-Particle Board - What happens to particle board roofing when it gets wet
Fireworks - A fart lighting contest
Foreplay - Porn film and a Pabst
Gourmet Food - Denny's or Waffle House
Hair Style - Mullet
Landscaping - Art of knowing just where to put old vehicles sittin' on blocks
Lawn Furniture - Former living room sofa and chairs moved outside to make room for big-screen TV set
Lighter Fluid - Substance used for removal of grease and oil; excellent insect repellent; for starting barbecue
Liquid Assets - Number of beers on ice
Mood Music - The sounds of crickets and a bug zapper when your window ain't been fixed
Must-see TV - Jerry Springer
NASCAR - The predominant religion of trailer parks
Napkin - Any cloth material when it is too hot to wear long sleeves
Oral Sex - Talkin' about what you ain't gettin' none of
PDA - A Gameboy
Roadkill - Good a reason as any to have a cookout
Security System - A long chain attached to a Rottweiler
X-Files - Canceled checks of alimony payments to former wives

The following came from a dedicated Trailer Park Site ( http://www.askuncleralph.com/)
- He calls himself the Dear Abby For Trailer Trash.

The list of eatin' places was provided by his brother. It is a funny site and you'd do yourself wrong not making a visit there.




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The Best Eat'in Around the Trailer Park
Hungry? Try one of these fine establishments.
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Uncle Bubba's International House of Sushi ( and bait )
Joe Earl's Gourmet Diner
Griddle 'n Grits
Cousin Purvis - King of the Corn Dog's Emporium
The Hefty Heifer - Our cows and waitresses are corn fed.
SH@@TERS - Waitresses in pink tube tops and flip flops.
Buck's Biker Bar - We'll kick yo monkey monkey ass!!!!
The Broasted Ocra Diner
The Hound & Coon - Dozens Served!!!!
Auntie Mom's Flapjacks
Rocky's Mountain Oyster Big Boy



So the next time you come to visit your kinfolks, we highly encourage you to savor our local flavor and culinary delights. You'll go away and never forget your visit, we can promise that. Please don't forget to tip your waitresses.





Y'all come back now, reckon!!!!!


No.53

3 comments:

Serena Joy said...

I'll be printing out a copy of the Dikshunary as a quick reference/ interpreter next time I have to go down home. LMAO!

Hale McKay said...

...And hows 'bout those there eatin' places?

That Uncle Ralph's site is a real hoot!

Serena Joy said...

I'll definitely keep Uncle Ralph's in mind for the next family reunion.:-)