A Year In The Life Of...
(Insert the name of your favorite Pop Tart)
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Duh. Bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited -- finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours -- power went out!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid -- 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing -- couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later other swimmers cheated -- they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm -- car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"... isn't it?
October - Hate M &Ms -- they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4-1/2 days -- instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911 -- duh, there's no "eleven" button on the phone!
6 comments:
I hope someday you'll demonstrate your ability to swim the breast stroke without using your arms. I think you'll have a captive audience.
Great stuff! THankas for the laughas.
LOL, Mike. It could be a long wait since I can barely swim.:-)
I tried one of those breast stroke swimming competitions, the difficulty is the girls slap a guy after catching the girls.
LOL, Charles. You have to be very careful with those swimmer girls.:)
What I want to know, Charles, do they slap you with their hands?
Since it was a total fabrication on my part to bring a smile, I have to say with an unequivocal, maybe.
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