(Insert the name of your favorite Pop Tart)
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Duh. Bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited -- finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours -- power went out!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid -- 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing -- couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later other swimmers cheated -- they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm -- car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"... isn't it?
October - Hate M &Ms -- they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4-1/2 days -- instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911 -- duh, there's no "eleven" button on the phone!