Words That Should Be
In The Dictionary But Aren't
Computrification - entering bad data into a computer resulting in a stinking post or article
Comslipication - injury as a result of falling on ice or a banana peel
Comtriplication - injury as a result of falling over one's own feet
Conflatulations - accolades given to the winner of a wind-breaking contest
Co-opulation - having carnal relations with someone instead of alone for a change
Invignorant - spending a lot of energy saying or doing something stupid without realizing it
Mannihilation - the utter destruction of a man who lost everything in a bitter divorce
Rectumspect - an opinion, usually wrong, from someone who talks through their ass
Spandextrous - the quality displayed by an overweight person in a health club who when bending and stretching does not split their leotards
Supperated - when arguing married couples eat their evening meals in different rooms
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3 The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.