Supperated Comslipications

Words That Should Be
In The Dictionary But Aren't

Computrification - entering bad data into a computer resulting in a stinking post or article

Comslipication - injury as a result of falling on ice or a banana peel

Comtriplication - injury as a result of falling over one's own feet

Conflatulations - accolades given to the winner of a wind-breaking contest

Co-opulation - having carnal relations with someone instead of alone for a change

Invignorant - spending a lot of energy saying or doing something stupid without realizing it

Mannihilation - the utter destruction of a man who lost everything in a bitter divorce

Rectumspect - an opinion, usually wrong, from someone who talks through their ass

Spandextrous - the quality displayed by an overweight person in a health club who when bending and stretching does not split their leotards

Supperated - when arguing married couples eat their evening meals in different rooms

The New International Dietary Plan
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3 The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

No.114