Yin or Yang, Female or Male?

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You may not have taken the time before to contemplate this little known fact, but a number of non-living objects are actually either male or female. For example:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female because, once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable, and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.


Hale McKay said...

Thanks for the chuckle. I've seen this before - but it's one of those that remain funny no matter how many times one reads it.

I thought it does need some updating with a couple of additions:

MAPS - definitely female as men don't know how to use them and rather than ask for directions will defer to an "acute" sense of direction.

TRASHBAGS - it is not an insult, but they are female. Men will readily put something in them, but seldom takes them out - unlessed coerced.

Serena Joy said...

Love your additions, Mike. LOL.:)