3/19/2008

Vocabulary Builder IV - Really the Last One?

For positutely, absotively the last time, here is another guest appearance of Skunfeathers with a Vocabulary Builder posting. (At least until the next time.)

I could blame Serena Joy and Hale McKay for this.

But why bother: all of the verbicidal abnominations and abysmal linguisticides herein are the product of a thrice-concussed, scam-baiting, no-life person of extensive antecedence with next to nothing to show for it. Save for silly photos and abuse of syntax the likes of Sodang and Gidoerit, or some other pseudo thang I just did something weird with.

Of course, this hyar blog is full of such.

So, against better judgement which I've never demonstrated anyway, here's some more words to help you build up your cruciverbalism to a point that no one will care anyway, since they won't understand many of the woids your misusing:

Athwart:
- wart with a lisp
- to cross obliquely
- a booty blemish

Balderic:
- a medieval athletic supporter
- Black Adder's main target of abuse
- a cross-body belt for a sword

Crocodile:
- big ass suitcase-in-waiting, with teeth in the meantime
- an Aussie company you pay to make crank calls for you
- a cheap, knock-off soap

Cantankerous:
- an armored outhouse
- an ass big enough to mount a turret on
- bad tempered

Carillon:
- sweet (ducking boos and throwd items)
- a buzzard buffet
- a tune played on bells

Casus belli:
- Latin meaning "let's go to the forum for dames"
- Latin meaning "that's some beergut, Earl"
- Latin meaning "to precipitate a war"

Ripsnorter:
- a remarkable thing
- when what's left of Michael Jackson's nose implodes
- a charging bull

Fertilize:
- a watering hole where lies and whoppers grow like weeds
- any political campaign 'war room'
- something that, spread around, makes things grow

Centerfold:
- an articulated bus
- Rrrrowrrrr
- the middle of the line gives way

Teriyaki:
- a Godzilla-like critter that ate Kyoto in a really cheeseball movie in the 50s
- Japanese marinated culinary dish
- made Teri sick and she...

Improbity:
-making it up as one goes
- dishonesty
- oops, wrong way widda proctoscope...

Joinder:
- Redneckspeak for "a Yankee-made tractor"
- a former receiver for the San Diego Chargers
- Redneckspeak for "what baling wire and glue dun"

Deadpan:
- a skillet after I tried cooking widdit
- her nickname for the frying pan she uses to dent his haid with
- show no emotion

Phartyr:
- someone immortalized for taking a stand
- someone immortalized for clearing a stand
- I'm screwing with words again

Lampoon:
- lame sex
- to ridicule (could be the above, too)
- lamp sex

Dung:
- sound a bell makes
- for whom the smell tolls
- the end result of cud

Cattleduffer:
- victim of a cowtip
- a cattle rustler
- a cow with a really bad golf game

Lawrencium:
- artificially made transuranic radioactive metallic element (all together now...WTF?)
- museum built for Lawrence Welk memorabilia (bubbles optional)
- Lawrence of Arabia's second cousin, twice removed for drunken flatulence

Martinet:
- a strict disciplinarian
- a Martian munchkin
- that weird dude that pitches the Weed Weasel, or some such...

Campanile:
- some people make tea out of it, but not more than once
- a bell tower
- camp like an Egyptian

Obiter Dictum:
- Latin for "an incidental remark"
- Latin for "a dental faux pas"
- Latin for "She bit your WHAT?"

Peripheral:
- one of those big ass Jurassic birds
- okay, one of those big ass Jurassic cats?
- on the fringe...of one of the above?

Sarong:
- see you rater
- musical parody
- a type of Malaysian clothing

Shriek:
- Ahab the Arab
- what politically correct junkies are doing after reading that
- a green ogre that farts

Satire:
- the first two letters tuckered out
- parody, ridicule, sarcasm
- a tire with a lousy sense of timing

Tequila:
- Mexican for "to kill you"
- Mexican for "to render blonde"
- Mexican for "makes sunrise and sunset non sequitur in sufficient quantities"

Weeble-wobble:
- what one of my former peers called a stumbling drunk
- a weevil that walks funny
- it means whatever you want it to...screw the traditionalists

Hork:
- cry of the yeller-bellied snapsinator
- sound a Muslim makes when he realizes you slipped him pork
- Iowaspeak meaning "to spit a loogie"

Termiflopper:
- Latin meaning "that Viagra's shot"
- Latin meaning "to hang someone"
- non-Latin meaning "not a friggin' thing..I madeth it up"

Verbicide:
- one part verbs, one part nouns, a spritz of vowels and wha la...Vanna White?
- substance used to control linguistic pests (doesn't work on me, tho'...)
- murdering syntax with reckless spellcheck

Incommunicrowdo:
- what happens to adults when they've a houseful of kids and one phone
- psychic communication with a rooster
- a word I abominated and let Charles Harrington Elster borrow for one of his books

Humbug:
- musical Volkswagen
- locust quartet
- nonsense

All the "Mommy, make him stop"s might...if you pay me enough...

5 comments:

Hale McKay said...

Okay, I was wrong. You outdid yourself again, Skunkfeathers.

I like 'em all but I have to single out my faves - 5 this time!

Shriek, obiter dictum, dung, joinder, and crocodile

Serena Joy said...

Ah, geez, I sure hope it's not the last SF guest post. I've sat here and laughed 'til I nearly wet my pants. If this is the last one, I'm packing up my balderic, putting on my casus belli, and moving my ripsnorter cattleduffer of an obiter dictum butt to Latvia.:-)

Hale McKay said...

LOL.

Well said, Serena.

Skunkfeathers said...

wisdom tells me there shouldn't be any more...but I've never been much of an adherer to wisdom ;)

After I wade through a couple more tornado chasing exposes, and another Russian bride scam series (just ended today), I reckon I'll be up to wreckin' mo' English verbiage hyar...

Serena Joy said...

I hope you WILL do more; MANY more. They're wonderful!