4/21/2008

A Texas Survival Primer

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* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered ... not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It screws up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

6 comments:

Hale McKay said...

Now that thar post was chock-full of good sound words what are good to live by.

My favorite of these:

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Liquid said...

I agree with each and every one of these!

Bravo!

Serena Joy said...

Glad you enjoyed them, Mike & Liquid.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

Now I know why I don' like Texans...besides shootin' up anything that moves during hunting season -- including A-frames and toy autos -- they don't like skunks...

Serena Joy said...

Yeah, Skunk, you'd probably best avoid Texas. I hear skunks make pretty good target practice out there.:)

Hale McKay said...

...And skunk isn't served at gourmet road kill buffets.