Vocabulary Builder VI - Careful What You Wish For

Just when you thought it was safe to not worry about your vocabulary ... He's back! Able to leap over a capital "T" - faster than an abbreviation - stronger than a silent "E" - it's Skunkfeathers!

If I had a better photo program, that sign coulda been re-writ to read "Absolutely Nothing -- Next 22 (or so) Words".

With some encouragement from the Verbicidal Tendencies gang, I am going to stretch crucincredulity with some more of that woid play stuff that makes one want to go right out and...buy drugs. Play video games. Get your gentilia pierced. Slap a badger. Ride a porcupine. Onion fart in a full elevator from the front.

Or combine all of them into official IRS Annual Fiscal Proctoscope Day, for all you almost last-minute procrastinators out there.
Me thinks we got the ideer hyar:

Tundra:
- a fat eskimo
- a cold, treeless plain
- a cold, treeless plain populated with fat eskimos

Plethora:
- one of them baby-making parts in a woman
- Endora's first cousin on Bewitched
- an oversupply

Crampon:
- ice climber's spiked footwear
- a cheap tampon
- a female ice climber's feminine protection...ouch

Chenille:
- a frilly fabric
- #5
- The Captain &

Senile:
- Redneck meaning "See'n I'll git er dun"
- This is a...what?
- You talkin' to me?

Flail:
- what I'm doing with this installment
- a genetic eunuch cross between a flounder and a quail
- what a golfer does in a sand trap

Decimate:
- married for the 10th time? Whatta nut..
- used at an internet cafe ta sweeten your syntax...er...somethin...
- destroy

Toady:
- or tomorrow..whatever
- Redneck meaning "toad ye!"
- Sycophant

Sycophant:
- mad elephant that attacked Janet Leigh in Psycho
- toady
- like, wow man, a totally laid back 'phant, dude

Precipice:
- steep place
- I guess even rain's gotta go...
- what cold rain becomes

Quintessential:
- to the movie Jaws, he was...
- being the most typical
- according to Manfred Mann...

Fait Accompli:
- French meaning "a thing already accomplished"
- French meaning "a fat accomplice"
- French meaning "fat chance...let's surrender"

Gauche:
- Spanish meaning "gesundheit"
- Spanish meaning "tactless"
- Spanish meaning "go screw yourself"

Abalone:
- expresses skepticism and demeans lunchmeat at the same time
- one of them towns trapped in Kansas
- a mollusk

Abject:
- the anti-subject
- miserable
- when your abs cramp during sit-ups

Piedmont:
- area along the base of a mountain range
- mythical character that, with a flute, led all the prairie dogs into North Dakota
- to urinate in Montana

Austere:
- stern or severe
- followed by Septembere (ducking boos and throwd items)
- a cow down under

Sublime:
- a bad mortgage deal
- a citrus cull
- supreme

Malice:
- the mother of all lice
- ill-intent
- Bud Ice gone bad (telephonic stalking penguin included)

Vixen:
- a line Mason wouldn't cross
- ill-tempered woman
- German Redneck meaning "alles das broke undt they're vixen it"

Discourse:
- conversation
- denigrate the class material
- denigrate the navigator

Sardonic:
- elixir made from pureed sardines
- the attitude of sardines in general to the above
- mocking

Taciturn:
- a pensive burd
- untalkative
- having painstakingly urned it (more ducking of boos and throwd items)

Dichotomy:
- division into two parts
- another way to say autopsy
- operation to re-attach what she bit off (see obiter dictum, Chapter IV)

Casanova:
- an exploding house
- a ladies' man
- Mexican meaning "house of napalm-quality chili"

Shamrock:
- a fake stone
- a rock band that really sucks
- a clover plant

Forlorn:
- one isn't the loneliest number after all
- A Ford model that was discontinued
- miserable

Zenith:
- Archie's dingbat at her worst
- achieve maximum potential
- an ith of Zen goes a long way, dude

Abacus:
- if one member of the band blew a lyric, what the rest of them did
- a constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil
- an ancient counting device

Perhaps this took the pain out of your IRS homework. Or not...