4/07/2008

Vocabulary Builder VI - Careful What You Wish For

Just when you thought it was safe to not worry about your vocabulary ... He's back! Able to leap over a capital "T" - faster than an abbreviation - stronger than a silent "E" - it's Skunkfeathers!

If I had a better photo program, that sign coulda been re-writ to read "Absolutely Nothing -- Next 22 (or so) Words".

With some encouragement from the Verbicidal Tendencies gang, I am going to stretch crucincredulity with some more of that woid play stuff that makes one want to go right out and...buy drugs. Play video games. Get your gentilia pierced. Slap a badger. Ride a porcupine. Onion fart in a full elevator from the front.

Or combine all of them into official IRS Annual Fiscal Proctoscope Day, for all you almost last-minute procrastinators out there.
Me thinks we got the ideer hyar:

Tundra:
- a fat eskimo
- a cold, treeless plain
- a cold, treeless plain populated with fat eskimos

Plethora:
- one of them baby-making parts in a woman
- Endora's first cousin on Bewitched
- an oversupply

Crampon:
- ice climber's spiked footwear
- a cheap tampon
- a female ice climber's feminine protection...ouch

Chenille:
- a frilly fabric
- #5
- The Captain &

Senile:
- Redneck meaning "See'n I'll git er dun"
- This is a...what?
- You talkin' to me?

Flail:
- what I'm doing with this installment
- a genetic eunuch cross between a flounder and a quail
- what a golfer does in a sand trap

Decimate:
- married for the 10th time? Whatta nut..
- used at an internet cafe ta sweeten your syntax...er...somethin...
- destroy

Toady:
- or tomorrow..whatever
- Redneck meaning "toad ye!"
- Sycophant

Sycophant:
- mad elephant that attacked Janet Leigh in Psycho
- toady
- like, wow man, a totally laid back 'phant, dude

Precipice:
- steep place
- I guess even rain's gotta go...
- what cold rain becomes

Quintessential:
- to the movie Jaws, he was...
- being the most typical
- according to Manfred Mann...

Fait Accompli:
- French meaning "a thing already accomplished"
- French meaning "a fat accomplice"
- French meaning "fat chance...let's surrender"

Gauche:
- Spanish meaning "gesundheit"
- Spanish meaning "tactless"
- Spanish meaning "go screw yourself"

Abalone:
- expresses skepticism and demeans lunchmeat at the same time
- one of them towns trapped in Kansas
- a mollusk

Abject:
- the anti-subject
- miserable
- when your abs cramp during sit-ups

Piedmont:
- area along the base of a mountain range
- mythical character that, with a flute, led all the prairie dogs into North Dakota
- to urinate in Montana

Austere:
- stern or severe
- followed by Septembere (ducking boos and throwd items)
- a cow down under

Sublime:
- a bad mortgage deal
- a citrus cull
- supreme

Malice:
- the mother of all lice
- ill-intent
- Bud Ice gone bad (telephonic stalking penguin included)

Vixen:
- a line Mason wouldn't cross
- ill-tempered woman
- German Redneck meaning "alles das broke undt they're vixen it"

Discourse:
- conversation
- denigrate the class material
- denigrate the navigator

Sardonic:
- elixir made from pureed sardines
- the attitude of sardines in general to the above
- mocking

Taciturn:
- a pensive burd
- untalkative
- having painstakingly urned it (more ducking of boos and throwd items)

Dichotomy:
- division into two parts
- another way to say autopsy
- operation to re-attach what she bit off (see obiter dictum, Chapter IV)

Casanova:
- an exploding house
- a ladies' man
- Mexican meaning "house of napalm-quality chili"

Shamrock:
- a fake stone
- a rock band that really sucks
- a clover plant

Forlorn:
- one isn't the loneliest number after all
- A Ford model that was discontinued
- miserable

Zenith:
- Archie's dingbat at her worst
- achieve maximum potential
- an ith of Zen goes a long way, dude

Abacus:
- if one member of the band blew a lyric, what the rest of them did
- a constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil
- an ancient counting device

Perhaps this took the pain out of your IRS homework. Or not...

3 comments:

Hale McKay said...

I don't know how you do it, Skunkfeathers, but another job well done!

Skunkfeathers said...

Beats me, too...but VII and VIII are pending, and IX is now under (dys)struction...

Serena Joy said...

Outstanding! And I ain't talking about cows in fields. Keep right on dysconstructing words. Please!:D