It seems that the mischievous Blue Troll, aka Azurian, has got a hold of the latest edition of a medical dictionary and performed some serious surgery on the entries found therein.
Be very afraid if you see this issue of a medical dictionary in your doctor's office.
Alkaline: Baseball player who played for the Detroit Tigers.
Artery: The study of paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Barium: What doctors do when patients die.
Benign: What you be after you be eight.
Cardioplasty: The act of paying with American Express.
Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome.
Cat scan: Searching for kitty.
Cauterize: (1) Made eye contact with her. (2) To recite lines from "Welcome Back, Kotter."
Chemo: A poplular style of pants.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
Concussion: Bad language from an inmate.
Cranium: A museum for construction equipment.
D & C: Where Washington is.
Dilate: To live long.
Enema: Not a friend.
Fester: (1) Quicker than someone else. (2) Addams Family uncle.
Fibula: A small lie.
Flat Line: Road kill on a safari route.
Fibrillate: A lie explaining why one is tardy.
Genital: Non-Jewish person.
G. I. Series: World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
Keratosis: Allergy to rabbit food.
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Lumbar: (1) Wood cut from fallen trees. (2) Actress loved by actor Gable.
Medical Staff: A Doctor's cane.
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Node: Was aware of.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear: A fatherhood test.
Paralyze: Not one but two falsehoods.
Parasites: Choice of two places to meet.
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative: A letter carrier.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Darn near killed him.
Secretion: Hiding something.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Tablet: A small table.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor: More than one.
Urine: Opposite of you're out.
Varicose: Nearby, close by.