The Modern Woman

Men, be afraid, very very afraid


Behind every successful woman is herself

Oh my god, I think I’m becoming the man I wanted to marry!

Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels

A woman is like a tea bag...you don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career

So many men, so few who can afford me

Coffee, chocolate, men ... Some things are just better rich

Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen

I’m out of estrogen and I have a gun

Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it

Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time

Do not start with me. You will not win

All stressed out and no one to choke

I can be one of those bad things that happens to bad people

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

And last but not least:


If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen

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