"It's hotter today than, two gerbils humping in a wool sock!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
"That boy is dumber than a box of hair."
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"Gooder than grits."
"If something is really thin, it's "fine as frog's hair."
"Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."
Wintery roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."
Someone who is bothersome is "like a booger you can't thump off."
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
"She's uglier than homemade soap."
"Uglier than a bucket of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamster's dead"
"I'm just about as welcome at my inlaws, as a hair in a biscuit."
"That boy's oak tree is short a few acorns."
Hope Your Day Is Prettier
Than A Spring Filly, Sweeter Than A Peach
And Hotter Than A Fireball!