7/06/2007

*****You're Fired*****


Dismissals

When people lose their jobs they may be dismissed, sacked, fired or kicked out; they may be out on their ear or on their neck; they may be shown the door; or they may be given their cards, their marching orders, the push, the elbow, the old heave-ho or the order of the boot.

Some professions, however, have their own individual terminology for this situation: a clergyman may be defrocked, a lawyer disbarred, an army officer cashiered.

Why should not people in other walks of life also have their own terms for dismissal? Thus:

An office-worker could be defiled.

A salesman could be disordered.

A writer could be described.

A journalist could be depressed.

A botanist could be deflowered.

A wine merchant could be deported.

A traffic warden could be defined.

A cashier could be distilled.

A poet could be diversified.

A celebrity could be defamed.

A cricketer could be detested.

A climber could be dismounted.

A jailer could be excelled.

A policeman could be unwarranted.

A judge could be dishonored.

A bishop could be disgraced.

A model could be deposed.

A neurologist could be unnerved.

An engine-driver could be distrained.

A gambler could be discarded.

A conjuror could be disillusioned.

A prostitute could be delayed.

A Moonie could be dissected.

A Chinese waiter could be disoriented.

A solicitor could be distorted.

A rabble-rouser could be demobbed.

A mathematician could be nonplussed.

A diplomat could be disconsolate.

An investment banker could be distrusted.

A lawyer could be displeased.

A steel worker could be distempered.

An immunologist could be disinfected.

A tax collector could be distributed.

A chef could be distasteful.

A convict could be discriminated.

A barker could be disclaimed.

A fisherman could be despondent.

A cowboy could be deranged.

A skirtmaker could be depleted.

A bully could be demeaned.


For those in some professions a choice of exits would be available:

A statistician could be discounted or disfigured.

A butcher could be disjointed or delivered.

An actor could be displayed or departed.

A horseman could be derided or unbridled.

A sorcerer could be dispelled or disenchanted.

A tennis player could be unloved or defaulted.

A banker could be discredited or disinterested.

A hairdresser could be distressed or unlocked.

A politician could be devoted, denominated or disappointed.

An electrician could be delighted or discharged or unearthed.

A musician could be denoted, disbarred, disbanded, decomposed, or disconcerted.



No.43

6 comments:

Hale McKay said...

Hmmm a blog where the readers don't comment - I guess they are "non-committal."

Serena Joy said...

Poor Mike. Weekends in the Blogosphere are hell. That was a hell of a good post, though. I never would have thought of all that terminology.

Hale McKay said...

Well, one consolation - it'll be up all weekend - maybe a few will stumble across it.

Sling said...

Bravo!

Hale McKay said...

Thanks, Sling. I checked out your site - I like it.

Hale McKay said...

Serena, we broke 4K on the hit-o-meter!