2/07/2008

Sh_t Kickin' Songs to Kick Sh_t To

They're back! Here's some of those crazy Country & Western song titles. Some you've heard and some you ain't!

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

(Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To Kill

I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2

If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long

I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy

Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind

Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me

Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed

You're A Cross I Can't Bear

It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me

I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

Heaven's Just A Sin Away

She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart

If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure

It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad

I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

She Feels Like A New Man Tonight

I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)

I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised

If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me Her Memory Will

Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)

Touch Me With More Than Your Hands

I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line

The Last Word In Lonesome Is "Me"

Do You Love As Good As You Look

I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite

When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)

My Shoes Keep Walkin' Back to You

You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log

And There Was Grandma, Swingin' on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On

How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?
He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk!

Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You that I Love You When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life?



No.118

3 comments:

Bilbo said...

How could you possibly forget that golden classic, "Dropkick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life"?

Serena Joy said...

LMAO! With songs like those, who in their right mind wouldn't want to be a country singer?!

Hale McKay said...

Bilbo,

Sheesh! You're right - how did I missed that one?