3/24/2008

New Take On An Old Tale

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Baby Bear goes downstairs, sits down in his small chair at the table, and looks into his little bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaked.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he demanded.

Mama Bear had gotten up first. "It was Mama Bear who woke everyone in the house," Mama Bear roared. "It was Mama Bear who made the coffee. It was Mama Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away. It was Mama Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper. It was Mama Bear who set the damn table. It was Mama Bear who put the friggin' cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Mama Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen up and listen good because I'm only going to say this once:

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE DAMN PORRIDGE YET!"

5 comments:

Hale McKay said...

Papa Bear would end up in the hospital later that morning with an empty bowl stuck in his rectum.

The doctor asked him, "Now, how did this happen?"

He told the doctor the last thing he remembered, "I told my wife I was tired of porridge. How about some Eggs Benedict for a change?"

...And they all lived happily there after, although Papa had difficulty sitting for a weeks.

I think Mama will learn to fix the porridge and then wake the others?

Serena Joy said...

Or perhaps Mama Bear will teach Papa Bear to get his butt up and make the porridge -- once they get the bowl unstuck.:)

Bilbo said...

Sounds like morning at my house...

Skunkfeathers said...

Mama Bear ain't been gittin' any lately, eh?

If the Bears would get a microwave, Papa Bear and Baby Bear could do like some lunkhaid I wunst knowd dun, and test the theory of exploding spuds...then Mama Bear could add having to clean out the friggin' microwave to her list of things to beeyatch about, and maybe Papa Bear's bowl gets an extra twist during insertion, making porridge the last thang he's hungerin' fer...

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Bilbo. Maybe those bears would be better off just going for Egg McMuffins.:)

I think that's the crux of it, Skunkfeathers. Mama Bear ain't gettin' any -- peace. I think she finds that bowl routine a great stress reliever, though.:)