4/11/2008

Defining Definitions

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."

Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

No.138

4 comments:

Skunkfeathers said...

LOL...there's a few I won't be using in upcoming effoits ;)

*Yawn*...doesn't apply to us singles nyuk nyuk nyuk..

Serena Joy said...

I swear, I know I commented on this yesterday. Either (1) I hit Preview but not Post, (2) Blogger ate my comment, or (3) I'm going senile faster than expected.

I don't remember now what I said, so suffice it to say that I love your definitions.:)

Hale McKay said...

No Skunk, the yawn is definitely a trait of a married man.

Hale McKay said...

SJ,

Ah, the phantom comment! That's happened to me on more than one occasion.

The other is the "cloned" comment - two comments appear instead of only one.