4/14/2008

I Love the Smell of Estrogen in the Morning



10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving - call 1-800-".

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".

8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

3 comments:

Hale McKay said...

There are a lot of truisms in each set of tens.

As often as my wife likes the rooms to be repainted, number 5 in the second set is one I can definitely relate to! Aye carumba!

Skunkfeathers said...

All I can say is thus: if I sense estrogen and hear the click of a slidebolt on a Glock being pulled back, I am so outta thar...

Serena Joy said...

I suspect a lot of guys are plagued by #5, Mike. LOL.:)

If the estrogen-poisoned female knows what she's doing, Skunky, you'll never hear the slidebolt.:-)