Actual Newspaper Ads
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little bitch. Bites.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD: 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat ... been out a while. Better be a reward for this nasty little thing.
COWS, CALVES - NEVER BRED: Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK: $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES: California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY: Must sell washer and dryer, $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Husband knows everything.