7/31/2008

Insults For A Rainy Day


THE LAST SAY

* A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
* Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
* Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
* Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
* Don't let your mind wander; it's far too small to be let out on its own.
* Don't thank me for insulting you; it was a pleasure.
* Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?
* Grasp your ears firmly and pull; you might just be able to remove your head from you ass.
* He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.
* Her mouth is dirtier than a rubber toilet seat.
* I bet you get bullied a lot.
* I can tell that you are lying; your lips are moving.
* I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
* I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.
* I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

* I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit for the one thing you've done yourself?
* I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.
* I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
* I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
* I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.
* I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.
* I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.
* If I want shit from you, I'll squeeze your head.
* If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head.
* If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder…it would be an apocalypse!
* If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.
* I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
* I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
* I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
* I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.
* Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
* Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
* People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
* Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
* She's the first in her family born without a tail.

* Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.
* That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
* There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.
* This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
* What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
* Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
* What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
* When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
* You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.
* You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
* You are not even beneath my contempt.
* You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.
* You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
* You grow on people, but so does cancer.
* You have a nasty speech impediment…your foot.
* You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.
* You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.
* You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.
* Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.
* You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.

No.181

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